Being sad AND excited.


Man.

The last 10 days are a blur.
I left FL. I arrived in NoVA. I am currently at my Grammy's house.

How can I be both SO sad and SO excited?!

How?

There are moments of great sadness that wells up inside of me when I think about the fact that I am not in Florida anymore. So much so, there is this little part of me that just wants to hit the pause button and reverse back to my old life.

Pronto.



I miss Publix.
I miss my little house.
I miss the life that became so comfortable.
I miss my people.
I miss my friends.
I miss my sweet goddaughter... it hurts. And causes instantaneous tears. (Yes, tears. Right now.)





Saying goodbye to that place and those people. It was not easy. I know, I know... it's not really goodbye. Because I will see them all again so soon. But, in a large sense... it is a permanent goodbye. A goodbye to a life that transformed me. A goodbye to seeing the people that I love so much. Goodbye to being so intimately involved with my favorite little family. Goodbye to that love, that comfort, that hope... from all of the people that touched my heart.

It's a hard goodbye to swallow.

But, I did. I said -er, still saying- goodbye to that life. The crazy, awesome, hard, beautiful life that I lived for almost three years. Life will never be like that again! I know it sounds dramatic... and I don't really mean for it to be like that. But, it is very true. That life that I was living will never be lived that way again!

And that only means one thing.

A new way to live it. A new chapter. A new beginning.

And I am SO freaking excited. :)

I am back in DC! I am back to where some of the biggest changes of my life happened! I am back for my dream job. WHAT?

Not many people can say that they have moved to pursue their dream job. This blessing is not lost on me. The timing of everything is not lost on me. God is so good and wonderful and awesome. I am undeserving of all of this amazing-ness. Yet, it's happening... and I am trying to keep up!

It's surreal to be back. To drive around and visit my old churches, places I lived, etc. It's just weird. I was such a different person when I lived here before. How many people get a chance to learn and grow and change away from their favorite place, and then come back to live life there again?!

Not many, I'd say.

I am so humbled and thankful and grateful for this chance. To continue to learn and grow. To rediscover my beloved city all over again. To meet knew people. To try new things.

I am still so much in awe of how amazing our Lord is. The more I let my walls down and trust Him, the more at peace I feel about life. Crazy, huh? My ultimate life goal?! To meet Him face to face in Heaven. I hope and pray that everything I do leads me closer to Him. The peace that I feel has only come from truly believing that I am made for more than this world has to offer. More than my job. More than my vocation. More than the frustrations. More than the sadness.

He is more. And I am more.

Perpetual Adoration
St. Agnes, Arlington, VA

I trusted God when I decided to leave Florida and my life there, just as I am putting my trust in Him now. To comfort me during the moments of sadness and prepare me to do my best for this new job/life!

I am allowing myself to be sad AND excited. That's just how it is right now.

Eventually there will be a new normal.
I will get some hugs from my friends.
I will get some snuggles from the best little goddaughter.
I will make new friends and find community.
I will be busy (and stressed!) with all the things that come with a new job.

A life will be... my life.

And it will be awesome! :)

National Shrine in DC
Shoutout to this girl for all that she did for me to actually move up here.
More on that soon, I am sure.


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Coffee with Jen Vol 3 {a little move update!}

Hey hey!!

Back for another Coffee with Jen episode! :) :)

Looking for a poor quality, UNEDITED (seriously, this is alll me in one take), sleepy and ramble-y video?! THIS IS FOR YOU!

Enjoy!




Seriously! Don't forget to follow me on all the things: Instagram | Twitter | Facebook  I don't know when I will have a chance to blog in the next few weeks, so stay with meeeee!!!

AND! If you are interested in JOINING me for a Coffee with Jen episode, please comment below or email me! Ha! Seriously no pressure... but, I would love to record some episodes of actual conversations with you guys!

Ok! Next time you see me... I'll be in DC people! Pray for me!

I will have lots and lots and lots of time in the car, er, truck. Please let me know how I can pray for you! :)

Hugs, prayers and blessings,
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So, guess what?!



I just had to get it out there. I have been holding all of this in for SO LONG OH MY GOSH!

I know many of you know this already. A lot of you don't. I have been planning and figuring out all the details most of the Summer, but felt it was prudent to wait until I had some more of the job details figured out. ... still a work in progress. Ha, shouldn't everyone work on MY time table?! ;)

But! I'm...

MOVING BACK TO THE DC AREA!!!!!!

I am thrilled! My time in Florida has been transformative, to say the least. One of the things I have realized is that when you change, sometimes making tangible changes to your life is also required. Being bold and stepping out on faith. Doing things that will continue to push you forward. Finding a job that inspires you to be better. Diving deeper into a community that you have longed to be part of.

Returning to my beloved city and all that it has to offer is where I believe God wants me to continue my journey, as cliché as it is. To learn more about who I am and who I was created to be. To see how full I really can make my life. To try new things. To meet new people. To have more adventures. To serve. To love.

It's a bittersweet time as I have begun to tell my friends and coworkers here. To say goodbye. I never in a million years would have thought it would be hard or sad to leave this place. Oh, but it is. I have met some wonderful people, and made some friends that have a large part of my heart. Not to mention the OramsObviously. If you know me, or read this blog, you know how much they mean to me.

Can't talk about all that too much, because then I get weepy. All the tears.

But, I.am.ECSTATIC. I am so excited about this change. This move. This next adventure. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for me! Eep! :) :) :) heart eye emjoi, praise hands emoji, all the emojis

And with that, I am done. Will you pray for me? For the packing/upcoming move. Saying goodbye. Traveling north safely. Please and thank you! :)

Hugs and love,
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Change

Oh hey there! :) There are some things I would LOVE to share with you, buuuuuut I can't quiiiiite yet. It's killing me a little bit.

But, perhaps that suspense will keep you coming around. ;)

Since I am pretty much an open book here in this corner of the interwebs (I wonder if I will always be like that?!), I thought I'd tell you about how God has been working overtime on my heart recently. Ready?!

When I was in my early 20s... I had a good life, ya know? Got through college. Landed my first nursing job at one of the best pediatric hospitals in the country. Lived close to a bustling city. Traveled all over the world. Went to church. Loved Jesus the best way I could. Helped out with CCD. Good, good stuff.

Yet... I still didn't feel like I was enough. I didn't see my potential. I couldn't. I didn't know what I was capable of. Ummm, perhaps I was actually depressed.  I didn't see my purpose. I didn't know that a full, purposeful life was possible for me.

Sure, people told me that I was enough and that I had the potential to do anything in the world. But, I just couldn't see that for myself. I had no idea what that even looked like. I always thought it was possible for other people... they can feel good about life... but that wasn't for me.

Sad, right?! I knoooow.

Serving in/moving to Honduras. I went with the best of intentions. Not realizing it, I was searching for that meaning in life, that purpose, that potential. But was surprised when the actual going to Honduras didn't change much of anything for me. It was more of an inside job, I found out later.

Moving to FL. I didn't really know what to expect. I was open to it. Excited for it. It is here that my heart actually began to be open. It is here where things really began to change for me.

And then I started therapy. Not because I wanted to, but because I didn't know what else to do. Actually, I didn't even think much would happen with therapy. I didn't have high hopes. Remember, I was in this place where I just couldn't see past where I was or who I could be. I was stuck. Going through therapy was not always great- um, really it sucked a lot of the time. Learning about yourself. Digging into the depths of your heart and soul to clean them out so they could heal. That's hard. It's painful. It makes you cry and question and want to run. But, you keep going. You push through. You learn who you really are. That you are made for more. And one day realize, therapy is the best thing in the world.

And today... I feel like I have woken up from a dream. I'm not sure exactly how or when. But, I can see my life clearly now. I am enough. I see my potential. I see my purpose and who I was created to be. I am at peace.

I have changed.

I am changed.

There really is more to life. :)

This is such an incredible feeling. And incredible gift I have been given. Yes, my life, but to see and know that my life is worth it. I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND TELL THE WORLD!

Thanks be to God for this time. For this transformation. For the adventures that lie ahead. For my family and friends for loving and supporting me. For this blog and all of YOU who have been there praying for me. For this community. For the many times I have felt alone... I never was, and I am so thankful for that.

For those of you that may be feeling stuck and are unable to see how your life can be full, purposeful and awesome, please believe me when I say it IS possible for you. I am praying for you. Keep pushing yourself. Digging deep to heal. To learn who and what you were created for.

I can't promise perfection on this Earth. A struggle-free, pain-free, worry-free existence.

But, see... life is more than worry, doubt and pain. A life full of peace, joy and purpose is completely possible for you. It really and truly is.

I am still in complete awe that I can write all that out and believe (100%, no doubt) that it's true. Because I didn't believe it for most of my life, and now I do. It's just amazing.

Hugs and blessings,
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Mary, my mother {guest post}

I always thought that to be a "good" Catholic, you had to have a really good relationship with the Blessed Mother.

Don't get me wrong... I love Mama Mary. She is amazing. She is beautiful. I look up to her.

Yet, I am not sure I would ever say I was particularly close to her. At my young adult group a while ago, we were talking about the different Marian apparitions. So many people were sharing story after story about what Mary has done in their lives. How praying the Rosary changed them. How much closer they are with Jesus because of Mary.

I was just sitting there all.... silent. And in awe.

I don't have some profound and amazing story about how Mary radically changed my life.

And you know what? It's ok.


Ohhh... to read the rest, please click here!

I am honored to be the first guest blogger on my friend Catherine's (no, Celeste's, no CC's... she has a name identity crisis! haha) new blog, Marian Way in the Modern Day... a "gathering place for women living out their fiat to the Lord." It's such a cool place to gather as women to share our faith, femininity and special relationship with our Blessed Mother. Check it out!

Catherine is all the way up in Toronto, living life as a wife, new momma and middle school teacher! She is so sweet, funny and encouraging. I know this first hand because we had the chance to meet when I was in Boston! :)  Check out her personal blog and say hi on Twitter!


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